This post was originally written on November 21, 2017.
Recently, a few of my friends and I were talking about Islam, and about duas. They were asking me how they could create a close relationship with Allah SWT because they find it hard to do. They were asking how I have created my relationship with Allah SWT and that inspired me to write a blog to talk about why it’s so important for us to have a close connection with Allah SWT and how to do that.
Having a relationship with someone builds connection with them in one way or the other, right? We can build connections in many ways with people we meet. We also have more than one type of relationship with a person. For example, my mother is my best friend, as well as my mother. I don’t have any siblings, but if I did, my sister would be my best friend too. There is a relationship we have created there from birth, and developed overtime.
Relationship dynamics are different for each family and each individual.
When it comes to creating a connection with people outside of our family, we make friends. Our friends can be more than just “friends” – we can treat them as if they are family and call them sisters, or brothers. In fact, in Islam, we are all each other’s brothers and sisters. We are all related to one another and have a connection on a soul level, as well as on an Islamic level. Our friends can also become our significant others, and vice versa. You see the dynamics, right?
But what about our relationship and connection with Allah SWT? The MOST IMPORTANTrelationship we need to have is with our Lord, with Allah SWT. He is our Creator. He made us, and we would not be in this world without His Will. Allah SWT created us so that we can earn His Love, and attain Jannah – the ultimate place we all must strive to achieve in the Hereafter.
Our relationship with Allah SWT is the most dynamic of it all because He is first and foremost, our Lord to whom we pray to. He is the One Who created us. He is our Creator. He is our Best Friend. He loves us and protects us. He knows more about who we are, and our lives more than we even know ourselves. He is Our Provider.
The most beautiful connection we can create with Allah SWT is through doing the following things:
- Doing continuous dhikr of Allah SWT and His Prophet (SAW);
- Doing as many good deeds as we can each and every day that will bring us closer to Allah SWT;
- Speaking with kindness to others remembering that Allah SWT is watching us;
- Spreading unlimited true love, and sharing more of our faith with others who want to learn about Islam;
- Following the obligatory pillars of Islam the best way possible – Shahadah, Salaat, Zakaat, Fasting and Hajj;
- Having tawakkul on Allah SWT, and yaqeen that our duas are answered; that we are taken care of and loved by Allah SWT;
- Making dua in abundance to our Lord after each salaah, and during other times duas are answered, in times of distress and in times of happiness;
- Reading the Qur’an everyday or at least a few times a week if one is not able to read everyday;
- Having and showing gratitude toward Allah SWT;
- Taking care of and respecting our parents, and siblings – also, we have to take care of and show love to ourselves because by doing that, we are also showing our respect to our Creator who created us the way we are;
- Showing respect to others, especially to our elderly;
- Being honest with ourselves and others;
- Giving to others who are going through a need (such as money, even sadaqah jariyah)
This list can go on, but there are countless ways, as you can see, for us to work on creating a close connection with Allah SWT. We have to be mindful of what we are doing and how we are treating Allah SWT. He is the One we must respect and please, and He wants us to connect with him through the ways He has taught us through the Qur’an and the sayings of our Prophet (SAW). Allah SWT loves us so much, how can we not love Him and give our Lord the respect that He asks from us by following His commands and living in His way.
Following the Sunnah of our Prophet (SAW), reading Qur’an and following the way of life as prescribed to us through the Qur’an and Sunnah is one of the biggest ways we can be close to Allah SWT in all proximity.
Just as it takes time to cultivate our relationships with our families and friends, it takes time to cultivate a deep and meaningful relationship with Allah SWT. Sometimes, it takes years! However, we must continue each and every day to improve our relationship and connection with Allah SWT until all we see is His Divine Light (Noor) around us.
While we develop our relationship and connection with our Lord, we must also create our relationship and connection with our Prophet (SAW). The best way to do this is countless dhikr by reading durood (salawat) in abundance. The best durood to read is Durood Ibrahimi. You want to make sure you read durood before and after you make dua so that your duas are accepted by Allah SWT himself, for Allah SWT reads durood on His Nabi (SAW). By loving our Prophet (SAW) and showing respect to the hadith and the teachings, we develop the closeness with Allah SWT.
Creating our relationship with Allah SWT does not happen overnight. It will take time. And you have to start off slowly. When we jump in too quickly into any task, we end up not completing it and become overwhelmed. It is the same with relationships.
We take our time to get to know our friends, and our significant others. It takes us years, as we grow up, to learn, understand and create a bond with our family members. If you think about that, our relationship with Allah SWT will take time, especially if it is one where you didn’t have any connection ever, and are beginning now. This is especially good for our new Muslims who have converted because they probably want to know what to do to connect and build that bond with Allah SWT and with our beloved Prophet (SAW).
When I was much younger, my mother taught me about how to connect with Allah SWT. I learned to read the Qur’an at the age of 4, and by the time I was about 6 or 7 years old, I completed the full Qur’an. I learned how to pray my five prayers. I read stories about our prophets (may Allah’s peace and mercy be upon them all), and I read stories about our Prophet (SAW).
I understood everything about Islam – I would watch my mom doing dhikr all the time, praying, making dua, and living her life in full connection with Allah SWT.
However, I was the one who rebelled and refused to make any connection with Allah SWT because I felt as if my life was one big hell. Why? I was constantly made fun of from a young age. I had no friends, I didn’t have a father in my life, my uncle was at times, mentally and verbally abusive toward me. I saw my mom suffer so much financial abuse at his hands, and lose friends because of him and his antics. I saw that my mom didn’t have the happily married life I felt she should have had and thought, why Allah? Why?? I felt as if the duas I made were not answered (they were but not in the way I wanted them to be and I never understood the miracles behind that until later on in life), so why should I bother with praying my five prayers, or doing anything else. That was my mindset at the time when I was younger and most naïve.
My mom of course kept getting me to get up and pray. She would tell me all the time to create a connection with Allah SWT. I didn’t want it. Astaghfarullah, how naïve was I? Why did I not want that relationship? Just because a few of my duas weren’t manifested the way I wanted it to be?
I didn’t realize the immense blessings Allah SWT had showered me with as I was growing up. I was so ungrateful at the time. I wouldn’t fast during Ramadan, or do any dhikr. I was always upset and depressed. I felt alone because of the way I was treated by people in my own Muslim community, by my peers, and teachers. I literally had no self-confidence.
Once in a while when I felt like I wanted to connect, I would get up and pray salaah. Once in a while, I would try to attempt reading Qur’an. It wasn’t something that I was doing on a regular basis. Just when I tried to make a relationship with Allah SWT. But I wasn’t understanding how to connect, so I would give up after a few attempts.
This was the glimmer of hope! The fact that I did TRY to connect when I felt it in my heart to do so. I know this was a part of my mother’s duas for me. She would constantly make dua that I would start connecting with Allah SWT and create a relationship with Him as she had done so with our Lord of the Worlds. Her dua was answered.
Slowly, I started creating my relationship. First, I started by creating a connection with our Prophet (SAW) by doing short dhikrs of Durood (Salawat) Ibrahimi (please click here to read my blog post about why reading durood should be a huge part of your life).
That was all I did, daily. I would make time in the day, do Wudu (ablution) and sit down with my tasbeeh so I could do dhikr. I did this every day. I would cry and make dua and then I’d feel contentment in my heart. Reading durood everyday helped me to not only connect with Allah SWT, but also with our Prophet (SAW) by sending blessings upon him.
I did this for a couple months, and then I started to add in the five daily salaah. It took me a while there too.
I had a hard time waking up for Fajr, and I didn’t get all my five prayers in during the day. My mom said it was okay for me to start slowly since I wasn’t used to praying all five prayers. If I even did just one or two in the day, that was success for me. And that helped me build my relationship with Allah SWT.
Eventually, I was able to get at least four prayers in out of my five – this took me a couple of months to get into the habit of doing because it wasn’t something I had been doing all the time in the past. I would always have to make up Fajr because I had the habit of falling asleep at 2am – I’m a night owl and love working at night more than during the day. Obviously, that had to change.
One day, I decided that I was going to start waking up for Fajr and Tahajjud. So I did.
Let me tell you about creating a habit – you don’t need to follow the rule of doing something repetitively for 21 or 30 days. I get that many experts say habits take that much time to build. However, intentions are what builds habits, and when you intend to do something and dedicate yourself to it more than anything else, you will begin doing it from day one, until infinity. There will not be a need to do something for 21 or 30 days to make it a habit. Dedication, commitment, and intention is all it takes to make the changes you TRULY want to make from the heart.
With that said, I decided one night that I would wake up for Tahajjud, and Fajr no matter what. From that moment on, I have always woken up for Tahajjud and Fajr every morning, even if I only have four hours of sleep. I know I can make up the sleep later on in the day. My relationship with Allah SWT, and the connection that I have worked to build is far more important than anything else. I make sure to be on time for all of my prayers. I read Qur’an, and I spread knowledge about Islam as I learn and apply the concepts in my life.
As I learn more and more dhikrs, recite them, share them, and speak to our scholars about the concepts of Islam as I study it, I continue to be in awe of the beauty, and of the mercy of Allah SWT. How He blesses us and brings us what we need at the right time, listens to our duas, and is always there for us. No human is able to do this for us. Only Allah SWT. And He is the one who gives us the love of 70 mothers. Imagine that love! We have one mother who loves us, and here, our Lord gives us the love of 70 mothers! Subhanallah!
Alhamdulillah for my building my connection and bond with Allah SWT. I pray that I continue to build this relationship for the rest of my life and beyond. Ameen.
It is through this beautiful relationship with Allah SWT that I have learned tawakkul, and yaqeen. I know that all I have to do is make dua, and simply have the certainty what I am asking for will be given to me in the best ways and the best of times by Allah SWT.
I remember I was talking to someone who told me that he was sad he didn’t have many friends who liked him because he was a Muslim. He was told not to worry because Allah SWT is the One he should make as his Friend and Confidant.
When I heard that story, I was so moved. While you are connected with Allah SWT, you truly feel it, and you know that Allah SWT will always have your back. He will never leave you alone. Other people will – when we need them the most during our difficult times, our friends, and our family are not always there for us. People leave us, and take our friendships for granted. I’ve been there so many times that my heart has been broken from most human relationships. Allah SWT is the one we should be focusing on creating our relationship with. Through this, Allah SWT will send us the right people who will inspire us, and be there for us during our good and bad times because our Lord blesses us with the right people, and is the turner of hearts.
Creating a truly loving, and blessed relationship with Allah SWT however, will take away any feeling of loneliness and despair. In turn, Allah SWT will bring you the right people, and provide you with fulfillment of your needs through blessings.
Making Allah SWT your Wali (custodian, protector, friend) should be the focus of the rest of your life.
Start today. Begin with doing dhikr. Slowly, add in other forms of prayer, dhikr, Qur’an, duas, and live in the way of Allah SWT. Bring kindness to others, do good, and do the things that I have listed in bullet points above. You will slowly find yourself building your relationship, and trust me, your life will NEVER be the same.
This hadith completely relates to me:
“When Allah wills good for a person, He grants him understanding of the religion.”
May we all be granted with the knowledge, understanding and the wisdom of our beautiful religion. May our understanding of Islam, and of Allah SWT bring us closer and closer to Him so that we may be united with Allah SWT in Jannah. Ameen.
-Dr. Aasiyah N. Ghazi