This post was originally written on December 26, 2018. Please share this post with others you know, family, friends, colleagues, etc. Help me to spread this blog and make it go viral! Thank you so much!
I don’t exactly remember if it was last year when I heard this quote, but I was reminded of it when I was listening to a really amazing lecture on taqdeer just a few days ago. The quote said something along the lines of, “if you were given the chance to write out your own life story, and then had to choose between what you wrote, and what was already written for you by Allah SWT, surely, you would only choose that which Allah SWT wrote for you.”
I heard this same thing being said in the lecture I was listening to by Mufti Akmal via YouTube (he’s on QTV channel available here in the US and in Pakistan).
It made me pause for a moment because I thought about everything I’m facing right now.
My finances are strained. I have to pay tuition at Pepperdine and I’m the one who’s handling everything for my mom and uncle at the moment financially since my uncle has been living in the nursing home due to diabetes complications where his doctor is not allowing him to live at home. It’s been rough even purchasing groceries, or taking care of our basic necessities because I’m practically at $0 right now. Looking for work has been taking up most of my time now that my first semester of doctoral studies are completed. I had to create a GoFundMe account just to get something to help us out.
Although I apply every day to many different positions in the area of human resources management and adjunct teaching positions at various colleges and universities, I still haven’t been able to land an interview yet, or get the job of my dreams (actually as of this writing, I just got an email inviting me to an interview tomorrow for a customer service HR position). I know my dream job is coming at some point, so long as I’m being persistent and continue to take the action steps I need to take to land the job I want, and relying on where Allah SWT will take me according to my story.
To top it off, I have some deceitful family members who have taken no stone unturned in trying to create more financial problems for my mom and I, and who have been trying to evict us from our home I’ve been living in for most of my life. Rather than help us during our time of need, my mom’s own brother has been working on trying to make us financially distressed, and wants us on the street because he wants his brother’s house, which he has absolutely no claim over.
And he has even gone so far as to pretend to be my uncle in the nursing home, making threatening phone calls to my realtor who was helping us to sell the house so we could pay for nursing home bills my sick uncle has incurred while living there. Pretending to be his own brother, he has created a falsified trust, and has tried to evict us by telling us we have 60 days to move out, which he legally cannot do because he’s falsifying identities, while the one in the nursing home is actually dying and has no clue what’s going on behind his back.
Yet, I pause to think about my situation, and that of my mom’s situation. Would we have chosen what Allah SWT wrote for us? This situation that we are in right now? Is this something I would have wanted?
I mean, in my own story, I would write that my family and I loved each other fiercely – my uncles were actually good people, my aunts were loving and kind, and my cousins and I were close as we should be.
I would have written the exact person I want to marry, how many kids we would have, how long we would all live for, and try to make us immortal – I know, astaghfarullah. There is no such thing as human immortality – our souls are immortal though. When we die, it is a physical death and our souls move on to the afterlife.
I probably would have also written that my family and I never had any problems, we were all financially stable and could get whatever we wanted, our education was paid for and there was no suffering, ever, for us to deal with.
However, I look back at the story and think, “But where are the lessons behind the issues, and where are the issues life would deal us to learn from them?” And also I’d think, “In all this, where is the glorification of Allah SWT? Would my desires be so fulfilled that I would not even make dua and ask Allah SWT for the things we would want or need?”
This is not a story I would choose. I wouldn’t want to choose my story of happily ever after. There is nothing there other than, “We live happily ever after.” The reality is that life is not all about being happy….at least not here in this world.
I would 100% choose the taqdeer that Allah SWT has written for me over what I would’ve written any day.
Why?
Because the hardships we face in life are not permanent. The issues we go through, the good times and the bad times are all a part of making us stronger, better people (at least, I hope). It’s about adjusting our attitudes and being able to see beyond what we are facing while ensuring that no matter what, we constantly remember Allah SWT and strive in his path.
In my story, there were no trials or tribulations. There was only what I wanted – to be with my family and for them to be loving and kind because I never had that experience at all and it is something I crave for. In my story, I would even add that my mom and dad were together and that my father was my protector, and I would be his doting daughter. Additionally, that I would marry the man of my dreams, and be an amazing mother to my children.
Yet, in the actual story that is written for me by Allah SWT, I am not given the family of my dreams, a father who loves me, or financial stability. I was given a family that hurt my mother, abused us verbally, emotionally, mentally and financially. I was given aunts, uncles and cousins who could care less about us unless we had money. I was given a childhood where I was made fun of, and spent much of my young days in loneliness (probably explains why I’m an introvert and not an extrovert). My mom was given a bad, cheating husband (my father) and no home of her own to speak of. She had to suffer so much to raise me, and to take care of the two of us. Her story was not full of happiness. She had more sadness at how her own family members treated her and my grandmother, and how even now, our family members are doing the same thing.
My story has financial instability albeit, temporarily. It has stories of struggle I am enduring at this time. However, my story also does have happy endings – I know I will marry a wonderful husband with whom I will have a loving family to be around with, inshallah. I know I will get an amazing job that pays me extremely well, and I’ll be able to get my own business back up and running again. I know my financial health will improve and I will be able to rebuild. I know my mom will see happiness in her life through my seeing my marriage, children, and success at wherever I land the job of my dreams. She will get back what was taken from her in ways she wouldn’t even imagine.
I know because the power of dua can make anything that looks impossible, possible. And as it is said in the Qur’an, “innallaha ala kulli shayeen qadeer” which means, “Allah has power over all things,” or “He is the one who determines (and is capable of doing) everything.” If one says this throughout the day as part of their duas, this verse, they will see the manifestation of their duas in ways they could not imagine. And if one believes in Allah SWT as Al Qadeer and does dhikr of this verse or of the name as “ya Qadeero,” which is one of our Rabb’s names, then they will begin to see that Allah SWT will give them miracles in this world they would have never thought about, especially when read with such love, faith and concentration.
Despite what I am going through right now, I know I would choose what Allah SWT has written for me over what I would write for myself. There are so many lessons to learn, and the impact we have to make in this world to change the lives of others, that I wouldn’t even be able to write that into my own story. I would be a lost cause in my own happiness.
The story written for me – my taqdeer, fate, destiny, naseeb – has already been penned down. The ink has dried and so it is. This is a hadith from our Prophet (SAW) where he said “the pen has been lifted, and the ink has dried.” Allah SWT has written what will happen to us both good and bad, and it will happen no matter what. What is meant to be will always happen and what is in your destiny will always reach you and not anyone else no matter how much they try.
This is why when we think about our story, we need to be in gratitude no matter the situation we find ourselves in, good or bad. It’s so important to stay positive, because prayer and dua brings us peace. We know Allah SWT is listening to us and the right time in His plans for us will come to fruition when it is ready for us, and we are ready for it.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this very thing. Just because I am writing this blog and sharing wisdom does not mean I am some kind of a saint – astaghfarullah I am not even close! I am learning about myself as a Muslim and there are days I get frustrated, and feel it. However, my emotional frustration is short lived because I remember that Allah SWT put me here in this position temporarily and I am doing the best I can with the resources I have.
Think about the scenario of climbing a steep mountain. It’s hard. Hiking, while it is a great exercise, is a journey of strength and will. How will you climb that mountain without falling? How will you reach the top of that mountain?
Think about your situation. You may be climbing a mountain, and you’re getting tired. Each day, a new obstacle is formed, and each day, you remove that obstacle from your path as you keep hiking up the mountain. You may be afraid of how much more you have to climb and some days it seems so impossible, but you still do it anyway.
Then, one day, you find yourself right at the top of the mountain. The situation you were in is now past you. Everything works out and you’re baffled. You think, how is this all happening? You climbed up that steep mountain, and reached the top. It took blood, sweat and tears to get up there but you did it. How?
Having 100% yaqeen and tawakkul, and making sure your attitude is positive throughout the situation you’re in.
That’s the secret of dealing with any problem. Your attitude. The outlook you have about the trials and tribulations you may be dealing with, and fiercely trusting that Allah SWT knows your story and how it will develop positively is the secret. All you have to do is have the strongest faith that what you’re going through is not permanent.
Truly, nothing in this world is permanent. We all have to die, and answer to Allah SWT when it is our time. We aren’t permanently living on Earth, so our problems are definitely not here to stay. We are here to learn, and to acquire knowledge our souls will take back to Jannah. We are here to glorify Allah SWT, and be the best people we can be – the best leaders who spread good, and do good for others to help them through their rough times.
We have the free will to make the choices for the steps we take. This means we have the ability to think, and to feel, to speak and to hear – we observe and then we take specific action steps, leaving everything to Allah SWT to take care of for us.
As I go through this financial hardship and the family problems being caused by people of my own blood, I pray to Allah SWT. I believe in His ability to get my mom and I out of this situation, and with the action steps I am taking to ensure not only will I be out of this situation, but that I will be in a much better place than I could ever imagine. And only my Rabb could do this for me. No one else could. What is written in my story is unfolding in front of my eyes. The decisions I make, the duas I make, and the actions I take are already known by Allah SWT.
He knows me better than I know myself. That’s because my Rabb is the author of my story, as He is of yours and everyone else’s in the world.
And you know, Allah SWT is a Merciful, and Generous Lord. Despite not having the money for even the basic necessities at the moment, Allah SWT has provided me with the most amazing and wonderful friends who have been by my side, and have been there for me. They pray for me, and help me stay positive even when I get frustrated at times….
Such as being frustrated about how I’m going to pay my bills….this is something many of us struggle with. Just trying to keep the basic necessities afloat while dealing with other problems is not easy but Allah SWT is there to help and guides us to resources we need.
One of my friends I met during this past semester literally reached out to me and told me she would help me by taking me grocery shopping and paying for whatever groceries we needed. I felt so shy about this and she told me that she was once in this position herself, and she knows. I asked her how she got out of it, and she told me, “God.” That’s all.
Another one of my friends comes over to help us with packing and moving, and yet another friend bought me boxes and other material for packing and cleaning to help me (because yes we will move but on our terms and with my selling the house as the real beneficiary). Allah SWT has been providing and He provides for everyone in various ways. Think about this for a moment. What seems like a hopeless situation for one who does not have faith, is not really a hopeless situation where there is large faith. When we trust in Allah SWT, and in His perfect plans and timing for us, then we have nothing to worry about. .
It is a blessing to know that I have friends who have been there for me, and have been such pillars of strength for my mom and I. Everyone asks me how I am handling things so positively and why I still have an optimistic outlook on life.
I say, “I believe in my Lord, and no matter what, He will provide and helps me figure out a way.” Why should we believe otherwise, right?
When we have that faith and that determination that everything will be okay, it will be, because Allah SWT promises us that with hardship comes ease. It is a part of our story – every life has some hardships – for some, it is a little more than for others.
Mufti Menk said in one of his lectures that Allah SWT gives us tests so that we can grow closer to Him. It is a part of our story that is written. For some people, they become really upset with the tests and literally give up all hope. My message to you is NOT to EVER give up. Why? Because the moment you give up, you allow Shaitaan to come to you and guide you so astray that you become more and more ungrateful for everything you are dealing with, stop praying and forget the beauty and bounty of Allah SWT. This type of attitude will not give you faith and you will lose. You do not want to lose. You want to pass the tests and you want to do this with a positive attitude.
I know, its hard. It can be so frustrating when things are looking so down and everywhere you turn, you see problems after problems.
With a negative attitude toward Allah SWT, we can actually create more problems for our lives. Allah SWT says that He is as we think of Him. So if we think He does not answer prayers, then guess what? He does not. And if we believe that Allah SWT is loving, merciful and answers all of our duas, leaving everything to him and we accept our taqdeer with gratitude, then Allah SWT will answer our prayers, give us more then we could think about and take us out of the tests He put us through because all tests lead us to learn to remember Him in order to pass and get Jannah points.
Remember that Allah SWT is the writer of our stories. He is the one who has written our decrees for us. Do your best, leave everything to our Creator, and let Him guide you. Our Rabb guides us – so make dua only to Him, rely on Him, and create your relationship with your Lord – the one Allah SWT who is Rabbul Alaameen.
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-Dr. Aasiyah N. Ghazi